Pro-tip: golf carts and booze don’t mix

A “Pennsylvania man” (the Union’s version of “Florida man”) was arrested recently after getting a DUI.

Not news.

He was driving a golf cart.

Maybe news.

He refused to stop, and “nearly rammed a squad car”.

NEWS.

Most people don’t realize that you don’t need a car to get a DUI.

You can get it on a bicycle, unicycle, horse — or even a golf cart.

You gotta give it to the man for at least trying with this explanation:

Larksville police say the man told an officer he was using the golf cart to navigate the borough’s streets Monday night because he had been drinking and needed a way to get to a bar.

You’d think it was probably a frat guy who would do this, but from the description, it sounds like it was someone who was clearly old enough.

I wonder — do those resort communities like “The Villages” or Avalon have a problem with golf cart DUIs? If you only have one way to get around, and people are going to drink, you think you’d see a lot of drunk carters.

Regardless, no matter how inventive this seems, it’s still a pretty stupid way to get arrested.

How this drunk ruined Christmas

A South Pasadena woman feels “blessed” that none of her family of nine was hurt or injured when a drunk driver barreled into her home and made a hole in the wall.

According to her 3-year-old son, “My house is broken”.

Poor kid.

He should be enjoying that Santa is coming down the roof, not some idiot coming through the brick fireplace.

 

The family is now living in a motel to avoid asbestos exposure.

Lesson: don’t get drunk and drive into a family of nine’s house, ruining their Christmas and their lives.

Stay home, get drunk, and ruin your own family’s Christmas.

ho, ho, *barf*