It takes a lot of guts to blame a bar for getting you drunk.

Ruth Morocco of West Middlesex, Pennsylvania has a lot of guts.

She said she drank in the bar April 23, 2009, into April 24, 2009, fell off her chair, was loud and obnoxious and spilled at least one drink on the bar, all within sight of employees.

She left the bar at about 2 a.m., she said, and crashed her car into a ditch and several trees along New Castle Road.

However, her story doesn’t quite add up according to the bar:

Morocco ordered a drink but the bartender denied the request, the defendants said.

Morocco returned to the tavern about a month later and “boasted to another patron … about how quickly she was healing,” the defendants said.

So instead of blaming the bar for getting you drunk…maybe it’s time to blame yourself for getting drunk at the bar.

You know it’s time to get a few Kleenexes ready when the first line is :

Last July, just before her eighth birthday, Xitclalli ‘Chilli’ Vasquez was hit by a drunk driver who left her paralyzed from the waist down.

She wrote a letter to her driver, and I’d like to reproduce it here:

I don’t remember the first several days. I could not talk, so I had to use my thumb to answer yes or no. While I was in ICU I had very bad moments. They take me to Xrays every day, feed me through my gbutton, I had tubes through my mouth and nose.

There were times that I would cry and cry…in therapy they showed me how to lift myself and dress myself. But right now it’s still very hard. My mom does a lot for me but I try myself. There are days that I cry cause I can’t do what I used to.

Well, I could keep going but my hand is getting tired. I would like you to meet me and my family…there are days that are bad because I have a hard time getting around… Look at what I said and the words I said and tell me how I look and feel. How do you feel today? Do you remember July 9th?

Remember this when you think you’re “just fine”, you’ve had a few, but you’re “cool to drive”.

Drunk driving can change a life in an instant.

Just don’t.

In Long Island, a school bus driver backed into a tree limb with students on board, injuring one student.

He also happened to be drunk at the time.

The best part?

He’s the third Long Island school bus driver to be arrested on DWI charges this month.

Do they just give you a bottle of the sauce when you get your bus driver’s license on Long Island?

But seriously–how do you back into a tree limb so hard you injure a student?

And why would you ever think it’s ok to drive drunk when your job is driving children?

dumbass

55 year old Terry Lee Ash has gotten a few DUIs.

Ok, he’s gotten more than a few.

14.

This finally caused a judge to pass a life sentence in prison, insisting on felony probation if he ever gets released.

Let’s face it: if you can’t get your shit together after the 5th DUI, you’re a hopeless case.

To keep feeding a man DUIs, treating him, and releasing him does society no good.

Lesson: after five, it’s time to give up.

daily commute for this guy…

Remember the Teletubbies, those weird British doll-things that scared you as a kid?

They always seemed nefarious, just as any cyborg with its stomach replaced by a televisions screen would.

And finally…I have proof!

Wolfe, 27, was coming from a Halloween party. He was dressed up as Tinky Winky from “Teletubbies” and failed a number of field sobriety tests in the costume. His blood alcohol level was more than twice the legal limit.

In all fairness, I feel like anyone would fail a field sobriety test in a costume.

But just think–this man has a mother our there somewhere and she read that article.

And wept.

It’s true: you can get arrested for drunk biking.

I’m not referring to a motorcycle either—I’m literally referring to a bicycle.

It’s truly a story of “Only in Oregon”…

Donald Munoz, 32, rode his bicycle through a red light shortly after 1:30 a.m. Thursday in Gresham and struck the front of a deputy’s patrol car.

He’s lucky he didn’t get hurt, and I’m happy he didn’t because I can’t stop laughing.

The best part was the totally hardcore drinking regimen he went to before his late night ride: three Mike’s Hard Lemonades.

sick rims