You’ve heard of farmer’s tan, right?

When you wear a short sleeve shirt out in the sun and get tan forearms and noticeable lines?

Or for rich white people reading, when you’re playing tennis too long and the reflection off the windows of your mansion turns your lily-hued epidermis from right above the elbow down the faintest shade of beige?

i knew i should’ve gotten the coupé!

In Woodmancote, UK, a man got a farmer’s DUI when he was “charged with making off with a tractor while over the alcohol limit”.

I read that as “making out” the first time, which oddly didn’t surprise me, despite the fact that I’m not well read enough on rural English geography to delineate country humor.

It made it sound like he stole it, in which case, yes, it is impossible to steal a tractor sober.